A Modern Day Essene

Yesterday I attempted my first raw food recipe! I sliced two zucchini up to make Zucchini Chips. I set the dehydrator at 60 which is the highest setting and six hours later they were ready to eat! They had shriveled down to half the size! I placed them in a Ziploc bag. Last night I grabbed the bag and sat down and ate the lot with..........wait for it!........Kraft French Onion Dip!!! Well, I didn't have anything else to dip them in that was healthy!! so today I am on a mission to find a healthy raw dip. I bought another ten Zucchini this morning after dropping Steve off at work. The checkout lady asked me what I was going to do with all the Zucchini and I told her, to which she replied "How Lovely" but I knew she thought I was nuts!!!
I noticed yesterday that the raw food eating went really well. There were a couple of flops (including the French onion dip) where I made French Potatoes for the family meal and had a couple of mouthfuls myself! but for the best part I did really well and actually found that at tea time I wasn't in the least bit hungry and although I had prepared a jacket potato with chicken and veg I only ate the chicken and veg. Today I am going to try and find some more recipes because, quite obviously, I can't live on Zucchini Chips for the rest of my life!

After four weeks of dieting with no weight loss I am ready for some drastic measures! I feel led to go on a week long raw food fast of perhaps 80% raw 20% cooked. I feel that my body needs a kick start in order to switch on to weight loss. I am blessed because in the past I have been unable to do anything like this due to either pregnancy or breastfeeding. I still feed Joel in the mornings and at night but he is eating plenty of food and really the milk feed is mainly comfort for him. I have gradually decreased the amount of food I have eaten over the past week in preparation for this. I know from previous experience that it is not good to jump into something new without a small and gradual build up.
We are blessed to own a fantastic dehydrator that was given to us by my parents a few years ago. It has, I am sad to say, been nothing more than a decorating item in the kitchen for the most part but today it is busy working on some zucchini chips! a recipe that I picked up from one of the thousands of raw food websites.
I am looking for a good raw food recipe book. I have heard that Serene Allison's book is very good. I feel positive about this step but I just hope that I have the stamina to keep it up for at least seven days!

One of the most common questions that people ask me in relation to home schooling is about socialization. I guess the perspective out there is that home schooled children are deprived socially!
I will be the first to admit that socialization IS an important issue. God created us to be social! the Bible talks about it not being good to be alone.
From my point of view I am lucky that I have been able to sit on both sides of the fence. I have older children that attended school up until year 7 and I have younger children that have never been to school. From that arena I can honestly say that socialization is not just a problem for home schooled children! Schools tend to set children up from an early age to associate only within the boundaries of their own classroom. The school that my children went to only had two separate classrooms for each year but a lot of public schools have many more. One thing that I noticed early on was that if your child was put in classroom one then it didn't matter that there was another 30 students all the same age in classroom two.........they just didn't mix! Within the classroom setting of 30 children there were also separate groups. Very quickly children fall into "clicks" and although they are surrounded by lots of children they will choose their own "click" to fall in with. It didn't happen in our school because it was quite small but in lots of schools the classroom setting is changed every year~! I remember my sister being quite upset last year because her son was placed in a classroom with no friends from the previous year. Guess what? He made new friends very quickly but the friendships with his former friends was dead and buried.......why? because they were in another class now!
As an adult it would be considered strange to ask someone how old they were before deciding on becoming their friend. It sounds weird but it happens all the time in school! Because children are placed in classrooms based on their age they are programmed from an early age to associate only with others from their age group! One of the first questions that my son gets asked when we meet other non home schooled families is "what grade are you in?" To be honest with you I had to do some mental arithmetic the other day because I didn't know and Ben (9) certainly had no idea!!! Ben, who has never been to school sees children, regardless of age, as just that...........children! or more importantly someone to play Nintendo with!~
On the other side of the fence I can honestly say that socialization is an important issue in home schooling. I have always tried to include lots of time with other families and their children into our lifestyle. Once my children hit teenage years I have encouraged them to attend youth group at church. Church has been the biggest source of positive socialization for our children. Without wanting to brag I am proud to say that my children fit in well socially in every area. They have been protected from things like peer pressure and because of that they seem to radiate a freedom and sense of peace that permeates those around them! They are open to friendships with all ages! they don't ask what grade someone is in before choosing them to become a friend. My 15 year old daughter even claims that her youth group leader, at 26 years old, is her friend! This, of course, is another benefit to home schooling! I discovered once my children entered college that the teachers were respected as those in authority (like their parents) but also someone who could be a friend. With the ability to respect them and yet at the same time treat them as a friend, my children were fantastic witnesses to their college professors.
I have witnessed families over the years who have chosen to live an isolated lifestyle and protect their children from "the world". Without wanting to condemn or place judgment on other families I must be honest and say that I have found that these children have struggled to fit in when placed into a social environment. A lot of them have adult behaviour and find it difficult to relate to their own age group.
So, is socialization an issue only for home schooled children? I would have to say a vehement "NO" to that!

I'm turning 44 next week. It doesn't bother me, I don't feel any older inside! But today Steve and I took the family to Fremantle Markets to pick up some fruit and veg. We stopped off to watch the Dockers practicing at Freo Oval, the sun was shining, it was a beautiful day! Rachel wanted to get a new outfit and we called in to Valley Girl, a young and modern fashion boutique in the heart of Freo. I was looking around and picking up tops here and there to try on. I actually liked a lot of their clothes! Then I found myself infront of one of those full length mirrors and I just stood and stared. Staring back at me was a middle aged women with tatty clothes only fit for around the house, no make up and a worn out look that told a thousand stories! I must admit to being shocked at the face that stared back at me from the mirror. You see, inside I am still 17, vibrant, skinny!! but the mirror told another story. I am not going to be negative, I have spent too many years critisizing myself! but I made a decision there and then that this is the last birthday that I am going to be "fat". I have spent too many years wishing I could lose weight, planning to change before a certain time frame but still, here I am, overweight and frumpy! Next year I will be a different women. I will never allow myself to get to this weight again. If I live for another fifty years I will never reach this weight again. That is a promise to myself and I will do everything in my power to make sure it comes true.

It's not an option (INO) didn't work today :-( I need to exercise every day (well at least six out of seven) but I told myself I was too tired today...........now I'm kicking myself! Then after tea I felt cravings for something sweet. I kept telling myself that the Apple Crumble in the fridge was "Not an option" but it didn't work..............I had some anyway. I guess this is going to take a while to get the hang of.........

Ben learned about Trapdoor Spiders in his book, "Christian Liberty Press Nature Reader". We took a look on the internet to see if we could get a picture and found this wonderful video! just click on the first one of the top of the video panel to the right (don't press the last one......it has offensive language!) It is so gross..........

One of the things that I have found very therapeutic over the past 15 months is art! I have never considered myself an artist but in taking this up I have discovered a very relaxing and enjoyable
hobby. Like reading a good book, painting or drawing can take me to another world! I am oblivious to all around me.............noise included!
I have noticed that as I have been concentrating more on my art the children have been following my lead! Leah, 4, loves nothing more than to sit next to me and paint in her own art book! Even Ben has been drawing a lot more and I have seen great improvement with his work. My favourite artist is Renoir but I love all the Impressionist! I am really enjoying incorporating "Art Appreciation" into our weekly schedule. I usually print a picture from the internet, this term we are using Renoir! and I write down a few questions for the children to answer about the picture. Mike Venezia's little books on individual artist are a great help!
I absolutely adore Barry Stebbing's art books. I haven't found anything better for us than his wonderful collection of books. I have tried others but always end up back with my favourite! We are currently using "Feed My Sheep", Leah is using "Little Annie's art book", Ben is using "The Canada Goose" and I have just ordered "How Great Thou Art".
They are so reasonably priced as well! In Australia they are available from Adnil Press.
I highly recomend them to all potential artist!

I have been busy spring cleaning , oh ok! it isn't spring but that is the name for it so don't be pedantic!
For ten years of homeschooling I have been obsessed with buying every book that was recomended. If I got a catalogue from a homeschool company I had to buy every book listed. To be honest with you, I think I had a problem! (really?) but that is another story! 99% of the books were never read. Anyway, I needed some money and the obvious thing to do was to sell my excess. It has been very freeing emotionally for me. I have not been sad at all. Now all that remains on my bookshelf are books that "I" enjoy, they might never make the top homeschool list but they are what I like. One example was a biography about Ted Dekker and his family, missionaries to Papua New Guinea. Yes, it was good but much more relatable to Australian readers would be the biography of Stan Dale, an Australian missionary to Papua New Guinea who was martyred by the very people he strove to serve! Why isn't it on any homeschool list? probably because he was Australian and not American! And why isn't the fantastic series "Chronicles of the kings" by Lynn Austin on any homeschool favourite list? It is by far the best series of historial novels that I have ever read! I am now free to choose any book that "I" want and those homeschool catalogues are banned from my house!
There are some books that I am sad to part with. Financially I must. Steve said I could buy them back again when things are better financially. I have learned a painful lesson and maybe when I can buy them back I will appreciate them more. My compulsive spending has landed us in a deep pit and I just thank God that my husband has patience and wisdom to see us through this time.

So, what does one do when one's husband tells one that she is fat? (gee, there are a lot of ones in that sentence) Well, one sulks, cries and refuses to talk to husband for at least three hours..............then she absorbs the information and realizes he has spoken out of love and concern so one decides to do something about it!
I've been married 24 years in September. I can almost read my husband's mind as can he mine! but I must admit to being extremely shocked when on Saturday night my husband, in the nicest possible way, told me that he was concerned about my weight gain, thinks that I am too big to look nice, and would love for me to lose weight. Actually, I didn't sulk........well not for too long! but it did make me feel sad and a little bit hopeless. After all, I am the women who has been on a diet for 20 years! I live and breath health information, diet information, exercise information............I have information overload! but slowly and gradually I have got bigger and bigger and bigger. I currently weigh 92.2 kg...........I was 45kg 25 years ago on my wedding day! so I am twice the woman that Steve married!!! How on earth did it happen? Well, it didn't happen overnight and it isn't going to disappear over night either!
Lisa Delaney in her book, 'Secrets of a former fat girl" talks about a mantra that she used, "It is not an option". She used this phrase, or affirmation as I like to call it, every time she felt tempted to do something she knew she shouldn't regarding her weight loss. I like the phrase and I have borrowed it today.
It is not an option for me to
1) Not exercise
2) Drink Fizzy drinks when there is plenty of water in the tap
3) Put heaped spoonfulls of milo in my cup and tell everyone that I only have two spoons when it really is more like six.
4)To pick at my children's leftover food
5) To feel sorry for myself
6) To convince myself I have a health related reason why the weight doesn't come off
7) To have sweets in the house (who has the willpower to say no when it is staring you in the face?)
8) To drink wine each night with my meal and tell myself it is healthy for me. The bottom line is that wine is carbs and full of sugar and at this stage of life I can't afford to say yes all the time
9)To not prepare my menu at the beginining of the day and set myself up for failure
10) To have one more serving of something I like just because.........

My plan is to cut my portion sizes. Limit my carbs. Exercise more. See myself as a slim women and make plans for the future along these lines. I will journal my journey at the christian weight loss support group that I belong to.

From seeing my counselor I am learning that it is alright to love myself! I always thought people that said that were egocentric!! "up themselves" would have been a phrase I would have used!
But in not loving myself, in not taking care of myself I found myself in a barren place. Slowly, but surely, I am learning to appreciate the creature that God created...........in his image! I might never make a size 10 jeans, My hair might go completely grey within the next few years, I can't stop the wrinkles..........BUT.... I am a pretty nice person! and life is good and I want to enjoy every second of it....
That's why I love the song, "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilira
Spoken:
Don't look at me

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, i saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what they say
(no matter what they say)
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won't stay


And everywhere we go
(everywhere we go)
The sun won't always shine
(sun won't always shine)
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times

'cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down
Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today

I have to find a new hobby, a distraction from the internet! something to keep me away from online shopping!! so I have picked up my paintbrush again. I love art, it is very relaxing. I am not that good at it but I like trying. I love drawing fairies, gumnut babies, flowers, nature.......pretty! I would like to take some lessons but at the moment I am using a step by step guide. It is therapeutic!

My favourite artist is Renoir. I love his bright, happy and colourful paintings. My very favourite is "The Girl With The Watering Can". Renoir was quoted , `Why shouldn't art be pretty?', he said, `There are enough unpleasant things in the world.'

I know how important it is to support Australian Businesses.I realize that real life happens and my order may not necessarily be the most important issue on the agenda. But, and I must be honest, It is absolutely annoying to offer express post options and to use it as an excuse for delayed posting. I paid for an item ten days ago. I used bank transfer so I allowed five days for funds to clear which is very generous because from my experience they usually take no longer than three days. I then allowed for three days postage but considering I used express it should have taken no longer than two days. Ten days and nothing. No email to apologise for any delay, nothing. It will probably be here next week but the point is that I could have ordered the same item from the book depository in the U.K and would have had it in my hands within five days! I also would have saved myself $6! I have never had to wait longer than seven days for any book I have ordered from them. Doesn't that say something? Am I going to be critisized for buying overseas when the reality is that nobody seems to be able to match that service in Australia?
I will think twice next time...........

Rach (15) Was invited to her first ball last week. The Pastor's son asked her to be his partner for the night at the local christian school's year 11 ball. Rach hates wearing dresses! she is my resident tom boy!! Her older sisters brought around a variety of dresses for her to choose which was such a blessing to us financially. It is very handy having older sisters! Rachel had her hair done at the hair dressers and her sister and best friend both took the day off work and school in order to pamper her!! ( I told Rebekah that we didn't agree with a day off work for that reason but who can argue with an 18 year old?)

I haven't been well all week. The kids got over a nasty flu virus and then when all seemed calm I came down with it! So after moping around the house all week feeling sorry for myself I decided to get out today and enjoy a beautiful Autumn day at the local park. 27 degrees! Is this country paradise or what? LOL

There isn't much information about this book, probably because it is so old! I bought it based purely on reputation and hearsay so was more than relieved when it arrived and I discovered such a beautiful treasure.
Here is the introduction from the book;

Here is something entirely new in juvenile literature, a strikingly original play book that, while telling a charming fairy story, gives small children a grasp of English grammar that would take years of dull lessons to teach. The story tells of the adventures of Linda and Barry among the quaint little people who lie at the roots of our language. Among the fairy folk there are Sir Pronoun, obliging standing in for busy little Miss Noun; critical Madam Adjective of infinitely changing moods; Master Verb, for ever being hauled over the coals in the Grammar court on the charge of irregularity; small boy Preposition, enlisting Miss Noun's help in the forming of adverbial and adjectival phrases when Lady Adverb and Madam Adjective are too busy or too lazy to appear in person; Wee Baby Conjunction, King Speech's favourite little handmaiden, who holds his hand and guides him smoothly over all the rocky places. The climax comes when Linda and Barry find themselves in the palace of King Speech and his exquisite Queen Poetry and are told by the gracious king of the life of "lifeless" things. THe delicacy and imagination that distinguished Nuri Mass's Australian Wild Flower Fairies makes the Little Grammar People a book for all children who have fairies in their hearts; and teachers will find it invaluable in helping young pupils to understand and respect their own language. Celeste Mass's illustrations, individual and finely drawn, are the book's perfect accompaniment. 1947

For a long time I haven't been able to even look at a pregnant women without feeling a sense of fear come over me. Sad, I know, but true. I just can't believe how my pregnancy with Joel affected me. From being an eterally clucky mum I turned into a women who feared the very word "pregnant". There was no clucky left! oh yes! I adore my beautiful baby boy (who started walking this week!) but any mention of babies just didn't stir any positive emotions within me.
Yesterday I was searching the internet for homeschool resources and came across Chariot Press website where the announcement was made about their newest arrival. For the first time in 14 months I sat and read it and felt.........HAPPY! It was a breakthrough for me. I could rejoice in the good news of someone else's new arrival without experiencing that tremendous sense of fear. I know it sounds strange. It is hard to explain. I am totally cured of my own desire for more children but I needed to break through that area of fear regarding pregnancy in general.

I haven't blogged much about Home schooling. To be honest with you it isn't something that I have been passionate about for a long time...........too long! It started before I had Joel, before I fell pregnant with him. Gosh, that is longer than 14 months~! A lot of it had to do with plain old exhaustion. It doesn't matter what people tell you, homeschooling a large family "IS" hard. I have always had toddlers and babies together with the school age children and one of the biggest battles is juggling the two. Then there is housework, and cooking, and cleaning. Anyway, Like I said, for a long long time I just haven't had any enthusiasm. The children have pretty much worked by themselves. Most of the time I have little involvement with them. I have thought a lot about school, especially this past year. Michael actually asked to go to school in term one. It shook me up! As much as I had thought along those lines it was still a shock to hear him tell us that he wasn't happy at home. Steve had a chat with him and discovered that Michael dislikes the stress at home. He finds the noise of the toddlers and baby very distracting. He gets upset when I am stressed. He was bored, with only a sister of similar age at home he spent a lot of time teasing her. I knew that a lot of his actions were typical boy behavior akin to boredom. We tried to sort things out in his bedroom so that he could work in private. It has helped...........slightly!
This past week I was forced out of my comfort zone to look for a Math curriculum for Michael and Rachel. I spent a couple of days browsing homeschool sites. It was strange but something clicked inside me, something familiar but long unseen or felt.................a passion! a passion for homeschooling! It felt good, strange but good! I feel more enthusiastic than I have in a very long time. I know that I need to take it slowly, not overdo things again. I feel like I am getting back on track................