A Modern Day Essene

We have had a beautiful pet rabbit for the past three years. His name was Flopsy Rabbity!! We handled him a lot in his first few weeks and he became quite a friendly young rabbit! After he grew a bit bigger we started letting him out of his cage for days at a time. He ate a lot of our plants but for the most part he really enjoyed living an uncaged existance! It was lovely to watch him jumping around on the back lawn or lazing in the sun. When we had barbques he would nuzzle down next to my feet, under the chair! he was such a friendly guy that I often wondered if he thought he was a cat!! He adored baby Joel and would follow him around as he crawled on the back lawn. A few times Joel would pull his ears or fur but never once did Flopsy bite or try to hurt him.
You can imagine our sadness when on Friday evening I saw him lying still in his cage. I knew immediately that he wasn't asleep and when I touched him it was confirmed...........our Flopsy was dead. We don't know why, he was alive and well one day and dead the next. Steve thinks he may have been bitten by a redback or something. I don't know! The older children know but I haven't had the courage to tell the younger children yet. They think he is just in the garden somewhere, running around. I am thinking of telling them that he has run away. I just don't know how they will handle the news that he is gone. Strange how one can grow so fond of a rabbit isn't it?

In my never ending search for significance and knowledge that I am not alone, I came across this blog! I found it quite refreshing. Take a look if you like!
http://homechristian.wordpress.com/

I know I go on a lot about this topic. I guess I am passionate about it and that's why I talk a lot on this subject. It's all about Christianity and getting to know the Christ I never knew!
I was "saved" when I was 17 years old. I wasn't what one would term a "worldly girl" I had quite strict morals that I lived by, regardless of how my parents viewed them! I hadn't had many boyfriends before I met my husband but I'd had enough to know that he was a very good catch and to stop looking any further! My then to be husband had already been saved for a year when I met him. He was VERY PASSIONATE! I remember that he and a friend both walked around in their "JESUS JACKETS" which were basically black jackets with christian patches l sewn all over them! things like "Jesus Saves", "Turn or Burn" and other such interesting phrases!! Steve hated me listening to "worldly music" and very quickly I had to give up my regular friday nights of watching "Countdown" a popular music show from the 80's! I learned too that alcohol was "evil" infact Steve referred to it as "the demon seed" and to touch it was pure sin! there were many other things that I had to change about my behavior in those first naive years of christian living!
Looking back now I realise that a lot of my behaviour became "learned behaviour" I learned to speak "christianese" a language that was unique to christians! words like "Bless you brother" or " filled with the spirit" were expressions that I had never heard before but used often then! My pattern of christian living became programmed in my brain by those around me. It wasn't brainwashing, it was probably similar to how children grow in different family units, some are rough! some intelligent, others strict..........my christian life was tuned in to my life experiences and also from pulpit messages. I was very influenced by opinions of other christians, christian books, visiting ministries. Very little, in all honesty, was based on a personal relationship with Christ.
I lived within the church walls for 25 years! I knew no different. Then trouble struck! I experien ced the sudden and traumatic effect of depression in my life. The church came around me, prayed for me, gave me spiritual advice on how to deal with this "enemy" and made a few meals. Then suddenly, just like they had never existed in my life...................they left me alone!
A few have hung around, not many and not often but a few good people still keep in touch with me. It's funny but those same people are the ones that I often thought as being "non spiritual"they were the church "doers" rather than the "spiritually mature". I remember thinking of one lady in particular, she has such a servants heart, and she would spend most of the church service running around seeing to other people's needs. I used to think to myself that she should be sitting down with the rest of us in worship! I'm not bitter though! I did the same to other people who withdrew from church myself. They were "too difficult, too hard to minister to......best to leave them to someone else!" You see, when the spiritual answers to problems don't seem to be working, quite often the church don't know what to do! For so long I was taught about prayer, healing, faith and the POWER!!! I, along with many others yearned for more and more experiences, proof of God's miracle power. Not just miracles but sensations! Pentecostals live for sensations!! But what happens when the sick don't receive healing? what happens when people die? when bad things happen to good people? that, for me, was always a hard question.
I haven't been to church for 14 months. In the begining I felt bad but now I don't! I honestly don't miss it. I have been able to stand on the outside of church and see it as a non believer for the first time in 25 years! But I am not a non believer! my faith in God is stronger now than it has ever been. For the first time in my christian walk I have an "intimate" relationship with my Father God. I can barely talk about him without tears flowing. I just can't reconcile the Jesus I know now to the one I learned about in church! they are poles apart. That is one of the reasons that I can't step into church again right now, it would be too hard, too difficult to absorb the "programme" that seems to have hidden the real Christ. The worship, the dancing, the flags......all so hard for me to be a part of right now. I know God understands! the other day I picked up another Phillip Yancey book "church, why bother?" which, unlike the title suggests, is not knocking the church! I can relate to everything the author talks about and it is somewhat of a relief to know that I am not alone!!
As an outsider I can see how hard it is for a non christian to enter a church! even with all our super friendly seeker services aimed at attracting "the world" it seems a far cry from the account of Jesus's life whilst here on the earth. He spoke to prostitutes in a way that showed loved and correction all at the same time, he was accused of being a "drunkard" by the legal church leaders of the day, he mixed with the sick and the poor. How different is that to the example of may leaders today who flaunt their wealth and celebrity status? forgive me father for I don't mran to stand in judgement but after many years of accepting all that was shown to me I now just have so many questions..........

I am continually amazed at how I am often led down a path of interest (or another "fad" as my husband puts it!) and then how, quite by chance, something is said or shown to me by another person (who is not aware of what direction I am heading!) that backs up information that I have been studying. In this instance my latest interest involves the chemistry of the brain, particularly related to depression. Yesterday my husband was given a DVD by a work colleague showing an interview with a doctor that specializes in Brain Health! He is a christian and his name is Dr Eric Braverman. He shared a lot of information, most of it went over my head! but a lot of it caught my attention. This morning I have ordered one of his many books!! Yes! another book to bury my head in to! It all sounds very interesting, particuarly the natural method of increasing positive chemical neurotransmitters by certain foods. I am thinking of Susan aka HomeGrownKids right now as I type this!!! maybe she can come up with a green smoothie containing some of these natural herbs and sell the copyright!
http://www.pathmed.com/

I think the word "meditation" to a christian stirs up mental images of new age philosophy. The Bible mentions the word Meditation a number of times so why would this be? I must admit to having pre conceived negative ideas about Meditation myself and it wasn't something that I ever looked in to. When I read Dr Archibald Hart's book, "The Anxiety Cure" he talked about Christian Meditation. I was also given the tape that went along with the book on relaxation methods and meditating. My first experience with Christian Meditation was amazing! I found a peace that I hadn't experienced in a long time. I also discovered an intimate presence with God where I felt totally comfortable.
Studies have shown that meditation has a profound possitive inpact on depression. I read that the chances of recovery from Depression are increased dramatically when medication, cognitive therapy and meditation are used together. I can see why~
Generally I will meditate for about 20 minutes. I start off by opening my bible to Proverbs or maybe Psalms. Sometimes the Lord will direct me to another scripture. I don't read mountains of verse, that is why I like the Psalms or Proverbs! I take in just enough to be able to meditate on comfortably. My favourite scripture is Psalm 23 "The Lord Is My Shepherd". I use muscle tension relaxation therapy to "unwind" and then I sit down in a comfortable chair with my feet in a foot spa!! I close my eyes and begin to meditate (or gaze intently) on the chosen scripture. Once I meditated On Isaiah 41 "Those who wait upon the lord, I will renew their strength" for four weeks solid!! Every day I would seek God for direction, thinking that I had spent enough time on that scripture but "no" I stayed with it for four weeks!!! I was amazed at the spiritual insight that God gave me for that word. At the moment I am using Psalm 23 and I usually start out by saying (to myself) "The Lord Is My Shepherd" and allowing God to give me a mental picture of what that means. Sometimes I will spend the entire 20 minutes just thinking on those few words!! it is so empowering.
I grew up in a big faith church where I was taught that stomping, shouting, raising fist at the devil and claiming his word was the answer to spiritual prayer! I guess there are times when we need to pray like this but to be honest with you I have gained so much more in my silent times of contemplation than I ever did having a one on one with the Devil!! I admit also to becoming vain with my prayer life. I took pleasure in using eloquent words of scripture in such a way as to impress those around me........"shame". Now I am out to impress no man.............I just want to continue with the intimate prayer life that I have found through meditation.

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

Well, isn't God's word always true? I am an inquisitive girl and have a need to check out the facts on almost everything! even the word of God!! And guess what? science actually backs up this part of God's word! Laughter is a great medicine. Studies have shown that laughter makes you happy by releasing endorphins, or happy hormones. An endorphin rush is often linked to an adrenalin rush (like the excitement encountered after winning a race or some other exciting event!) This "adrenaline rush" leaves you with a sense of well being and peace.
Stress has been shown to raise cholesterol levels but humour decreases the stress hormone, Serum Cortisol.
Don't take my word for it! check it out yourself.

Another thing that we can do to fight depression "naturally" (and know that I am not against medication.......If you need it take it! but there are some other things that you can do to increase your happy hormones and help yourself) is EXERCISE!!! oh, that word again!
Studies have shown that exercise can help decrease the Cortisol level in the brain. Cortisol is one of the neurotransmitters in the brain that cause us to feel sad and depressed. We need it! but not as much as depression sufferers seem to have! From what I have read weight resistance exercise together with "mild" cardio is the best way to decrease the cortisol levels. Strangely enough if you continue to work the muscles after you have already reached your maximum capacity then cortisol levels actually rise . Cardio exercise is good but overdoing it is bad! once again, overdoing cardio will reverse the benefits of cortisol reduction. Don't kill yourself on the treadmill!!
For Australian women I highly recomend a women's only gym called "Contours". The circuit is only 30 minutes duration and includes both weights and cardio. There are all kinds of women that attend! big, small, old, young, fit and unfit, so you won't be out of place! For me personally, attending the gym has become the highlight of my day, and I never thought I would say that about exercise. The natural endorphins that exercise promotes have helped me tremendously. It becomes addictive very quickly! and unlike some of those nasty tranquilizer medications that they dish out for anxiety disorders...............exercise is a good addiction!
I have included some links to back up information that I have given here!
http://www.sandiegopremiertraining.com/10%20Biggest%20Mistakes.pdf
http://bodybuilding.about.com/od/supplementationbasics/tp/reducecortisol.htm
http://www.totalfitness.net/2007%20Mar%20Fitness%20Newsletter.htm
http://www.contours.net.au/

It is Steve's birthday next weekend. I have booked a country tudor house about an hour from Perth for us to stay for the weekend. Just the two of us. No children! No friends. Just Steve and I...........alone!! We haven't done anything like that since Sarah was about three years old. She is now 23! that is a looooong time!!
What are we going to talk about? I don't really know my husband "alone" any more! we are always surrounded by our children, son in laws, parents, sisters, brothers etc! we have a big family. Obviously it wasn't always this way. Once upon a time Steve and I were together, just the two of us! alone.
For 23 years we have been mum and dad. Sometimes it is easy to forget that we are individual people with names!! Steve and Jacqui~ Sarah was born only 18 months after we were married so really we haven't ever had much time together, just the two of us.
Over the past few years I found myself putting more and more emphasis on being a mum. I kept having babies, kept being mummy!! I didn't realise that I was pushing my husband away..........seeing him as "dad" instead of "steve.........my husband". This past year has brought about a lot of changes. Steve and I have been through some rough patches, the fairy tail image was kind of shattered~ I didn't like it when he told me he felt neglected!!! I felt threatened, upset, confused. It took me a long time to understand his feelings. Now I do!! and I realise that in order to make our family work we need to work harder at being a couple again.....
One part of me is excited about going away. The other part is anxious. "what if the kids......what if someone forgets to close the pool gate...............what if someone gets hurt" lots of fears in me about actually stepping out of my role as "mum" for a weekend. Our married daughter and her husband are coming to stay over. The children love them to bits!! I know they are in safe hands..............it is just a little bit hard for me though!
I kind of wish I had done this earlier...............not left it so late to get to know my husband all over again.

Another food that has been linked to helping with depression are oranges! Yes, those lovely large orange fruit that are impossible to peal, and I must admit, often not on "my" shopping list! I guess with Oranges it is the lazy syndrome that comes into place! Why bother with a fruit that one has to cut up into segments when you could just grab an apple from the fridge and munch?
I have, at times, bought oranges in bulk and juiced them. Each time I have done that I have sworn blind that I would never do it again...........yes it taste good but how time consuming!
Today I read this article and I am taking a second look at the humble orange. Maybe it is something that I should add to my diet!
http://www.clearwatercentre.com.au/healthy-body/healthy-weight/healthy-eating-oranges/

Being a "modern day Essene" I am interested in learning about natural methods of fighting depression. I am especially interested in food sources. I personally am taking anti depressants right now but they are not "happy pills" they basically restore the depleted "happy hormones" of the brain until the time comes when my own body has regained a level of balance.
The brain has a number of messengers called "happy messengers" Technically these are known as nerotransmitters or "biogenic amines" They don't just keep us happy, they energize us and help us to cope with pain and remain tranquil. Some examples of these "happy messengers" include Serotonin, noraderenaline (produced in the brain not by the adrenals) dopamine and a group of natural tranquilizers that are found in abundance in the brain. Other messengers are called "Sad Messengers" these neurotransmitters carry black and sombre messages. They tell the brain to be downhearted, cautious, and dispririted. An excess of sad messengers (caused by long term stress) makes us depressed, anxious, sleepless and fatigued. These are the messengers that dominate when we feel overwhelmed by life's demands. Examples of sad messengers are Cortisol and a group of enzymes that rob us of happy messengers.
Sad messengers are not all bad! They help to slow our body down when we are sick which enables us to recover quicker. We need a balance between the two messengers! (Source "The Anxiety Cure by Dr Archibald Hart")
So, what are some of the natural resoureces that we can take to help decrease the levels of Cortisol (a sad messenger) and increase the level of Seratonin (a happy messenger)?
Today I am going to talk about the benefits of WHEY PROTEIN
1) Stablilizes blood sugar and prevents diabetes by slowing assimiliation of carbohydrates into glucose in the blood stream.

2) Reduces stress and aleviates depression by slowing production of the powerful stress hormone, Cortisol. Promotes the release of Seratonin, a calming neurotransmitter.

3) Promotes fat loss by enhancing the release of glucagon (builds muscle burns fat) and inhibitin release of insulin (encourages fat storage)

4) Builds Muscle by stimulatin maxitmum protein synthesis.

5) Enhances the immune system by raising the body's levels of lutathione, which is a powerful antioxidant produced by the body to protect cells and neutralize toxins.

6) Increases exercise capacity.

Whey contains Alpha Lactalbulmin which boosts the body's level of Tryptophan, a building block of the feel good hormone, Seratonin by as much as 43%. Serontonin is a brain chemical that reduces hunger and boosts our sense of well being. When Serontonin is low (which can often happen on a low carb diet) You become increasingly dissatisfied with both food and life, making it hard to stick to a diet. When Seratonin levels are high we simply don't crave those sweet fattening foods! It is an interesting thing to note that many women experience intense sweet cravings around the time of their menstrual cycle, along with low moods. I wonder if this has anything to do with a decrease in the level of Seratonin and subsequent sweet cravings?

There are lots of other natural ways to reduce levels of Cortisol in the brain. Some of these include food such as good protein sources (Turkey is especially good) Oranges, Strawberries, Eggs, Fish and others.
It is interesting to note that raised Cortisol levels are also linked to obesity and difficulty with losing weight. Predominantly fat is distributed around the belly area. Lessening the cortisol will contribute to easier weight loss.
Cortisol is an interesting subject on its own! if you get chance take a look on the internet for more information.
Whey Powder is very easy and pleasant to take. I usually add two scoops to a glass of milk. I add a frozen banana and sometimes berries or other fruit that I may have on hand and blend. It is a good afternoon snack as it gets me through the difficult hours of pre dinner hunger! We buy our Whey Powder in a 4kg bucket from a supplier on Ebay. Be careful to choose 100% Whey Protein Powder and don't be fooled by the brands that add flavours and colours.