It is Steve's birthday next weekend. I have booked a country tudor house about an hour from Perth for us to stay for the weekend. Just the two of us. No children! No friends. Just Steve and I...........alone!! We haven't done anything like that since Sarah was about three years old. She is now 23! that is a looooong time!!
What are we going to talk about? I don't really know my husband "alone" any more! we are always surrounded by our children, son in laws, parents, sisters, brothers etc! we have a big family. Obviously it wasn't always this way. Once upon a time Steve and I were together, just the two of us! alone.
For 23 years we have been mum and dad. Sometimes it is easy to forget that we are individual people with names!! Steve and Jacqui~ Sarah was born only 18 months after we were married so really we haven't ever had much time together, just the two of us.
Over the past few years I found myself putting more and more emphasis on being a mum. I kept having babies, kept being mummy!! I didn't realise that I was pushing my husband away..........seeing him as "dad" instead of "steve.........my husband". This past year has brought about a lot of changes. Steve and I have been through some rough patches, the fairy tail image was kind of shattered~ I didn't like it when he told me he felt neglected!!! I felt threatened, upset, confused. It took me a long time to understand his feelings. Now I do!! and I realise that in order to make our family work we need to work harder at being a couple again.....
One part of me is excited about going away. The other part is anxious. "what if the kids......what if someone forgets to close the pool gate...............what if someone gets hurt" lots of fears in me about actually stepping out of my role as "mum" for a weekend. Our married daughter and her husband are coming to stay over. The children love them to bits!! I know they are in safe hands..............it is just a little bit hard for me though!
I kind of wish I had done this earlier...............not left it so late to get to know my husband all over again.