A Modern Day Essene

Our ladies group at church have just begun a new course called "Nurture" based on the book written by Lisa Bevere. Lisa Bevere is someone that I admire a lot. I read her book "Out of control and loving it" a few years ago and was astounded by her honesty. When our pastor told us about this course I felt so excited. It is all about directing women to walk in the gifting that God has given them "Nurture". We have only done one lesson so far but is was just beautiful. I know that I had a tear or two in my eyes! This is something that I have felt for such a long long time. For years I have sought out older women to 'nurture' me and for a long time I thought I was 'weird' in wanting this. I now realize that I am not alone! But it is my job to nurture just as it is to be nurtured.
I highly recommend anyone doing this course if it comes along. The book is very inspiring and Lisa is a great author.

Sorry guys for neglecting my blog for so long! I really have been busy. It has taken me ages to get in to the swing of the new school year. I honestly can't say that I am even there yet but slowly, day by day, things seem to be taking shape.
I ordered my Switched On Schoolhouse from Christian books in the U.S. The postage was by far the cheapest. I really can't wait for it to arrive as I feel it will take a lot of pressure from me. My 14 year old son is doing the 'basics'. He is using Fred for maths and really enjoys it. I love the price so that is good~ For English he is using a Queens Homeschool English book which is o.k. For Science he continues with the John Tiner Paradigm curriculum which I hope to update to Biology later on this year.
Our 16 year old is teaching our two beginning schoolers, 5 and 6 year olds using "100 Easy Lessons" and Five In A Row. It is going really well, short and sweet but to the point!
We have found a wonderful course for her doing cert four in fitness combining massage. It is held at a corporate gym in the city centre and has a very good reputation. We just need to save some money! so that will probably take place around about August (God willing)
Our ten year old is on the long road to 'assesment' relating to Aspergers diagnosis. I have to wait till July to see a pediatrician! I feel so much better having come to terms with his situation. He is different but  that is not necessarily a bad thing! I was just told a story by a close friend as related by Lisa Bevere at the Influences Conference. She described her son as 'learning differently' to others. I wonder if she means 'autistic' I don't know but he sounds a lot like Ben! Anyway, they refused to put him down and continually lifted him up as 'just learning differently to other people'.........the end of the story was that he was offered a job by Microsoft in the U.S. Apparently they are one of the hardest jobs to come by and people that get in are considered very lucky indeed. So that has been a lesson to me, I need to seek God for words of encouragement for all my children, focus on the positive and not the negative. God has a plan for each of their lives doesn't he!
My latest 'diet' is back to an oldie........The Atkins! It actually started off when a lady at church was seen to be devouring a tin of tuna at the evening home group meeting coffee time. I congratulated her on ignoring the cakes and she told me she was on a new eating plan called "Body Trim". I was curious so looked it up the next day. Sounded great, the wording on the site made me want to click "BUY NOW" very quickly but I didn't have $140 to spend so instead I googled for information and found out enough to tell me that it was basically a low carb diet with one day off a week. The only low carb diet book I had on my shelf was Atkins and although he ended  up dying of heart disease I decided to give it another go!!! LOL  I am actually two weeks in to it now and am feeling great. I am eating lots and lots of fish. I actually enjoy going shopping each day for fresh fish. My favourite so far is a New Zealand fish called "Lingine" or something like that!!!! It has no bones which is great. Last week I bought some cod and nearly choked to death on all the bones........awful. I am finding that I am not hungry at all during the day and if worse comes to worse I have a pantry full of tins of tuna that I snack on! I am being so good.........I can't believe it. The scales haven't budged but I feel heaps better within myself.
I still love my dolls and am off with the fairies most of the time in my own little world of dollies!! LOL I received on today who just cracks me up. She is called "The Fat Fairy" and she has a figure just like me!!! I can't stop laughing when I pick her up. I'll try to get pics (and bore you all to death)
Above is Zach in the background, poor shy Chloe in the burgundy dress and my voluptuous "Fat Fairy" who I have named Mia.
Just a last thing. I must let you all see this wonderful blog full of homemade dolls houses. They are just amazing. Some people are so talented. http://bearcabinminiatures.blogspot.com/

Slowly over the course of the week I have had clearer vision in regard to homeschooling. The Lord has laid upon my heart a curriculum that we used a LONG time ago with our second eldest daughter, Jessica, who is now 22 years old, married and working. She was a terror at homeschooling! she really would have preferred to remain in school, mainly for the social network. The only thing that she enjoyed at home was going on the computer so like a clever mother I decided that if you can't beat them you should join them! so I ordered her a couple of subjects on Switched On Schoolhouse. It was fantastic! she got to play computer a bit longer in the day and I got the satisfaction of knowing at least two subjects per day were completed! LOL
Once she graduated and started work I carried on with whatever I happened to be using at the time (and believe me, I have used a few different things over the years!) but this week I have had Switched On Schoolhouse on my mind once again..........

From memory a few of the subjects were too difficult (In my opinion) like Language Arts and Math. I seem to remember Jess using Science, History and Bible. I think that using all five core subjects would be too much and a sure recipe for glasses or contact lenses down the track.
Unfortunatly they don't seem to sell the curriculum in Australia any more so I had to scoot around and do some googling online. Ebay has a lot of sellers but the postage is quite expensive. The cheapest option is Christian Books in the U.S but shipping is slow, usually about six weeks.
In the end for Ben I ordered; History/Geography and Health. And for Mike I ordered History of the Vietnam war, History of the Civil war (both American in content but great for a history loving kid) British Literature Study and Bible.
Looks like we will be on 'holiday' for a bit longer, or at least till some of these arrive. I am in no rush and I know the kids are not either..........

Well, looks like I scared some of you off with my last, very negative post!!! So I'll be nice and sweet today so that I don't scare you all off again.
I have officially decided to have another week of holidays. I am the owner of this 'school' so basically I can do whatever I like..........well, within reason. So there you go, I have made a decision! Yesterday I was quite mad, quite unlike my usual self, why? you may ask! well, Because it was discovered on a few occasions throughout the day that I was sitting down reading Homeschooling books and seeking a plan for the new year. Steve actually had to take my temperature because he was concerned that I was ill or something, being a strange thing for me to do
. I had to restrain the finger from pressing BUY NOW schooling items on more than one occasion. Until sanity returns and I really know what I am doing I shall stick to the items that I already own!
I am, at this stage, wondering what career will suit my fourteen year old son whose interest lie solely on playing Xbox "Call Of Duty" oh yes, and watching soccer on t.v, especially when his favourite team, Manchester United, are playing. His only other passion is food, mainly eating it but ocassionally cooking with it. Although I have horrible dreams about him taking on an appreticeship with someone like Gordon Ramsay as his teacher. I only have to ask him to take a shower and he cries like a baby so I hate to think what Gordon would do to this timid??? child.
And what about my 16 year old daughter who is unofficially doing year 12 this year? Centrelink have kindly notified me that if she does not complete an 'official year 12 course' then the money that they pay me for having her at home will abrubtly end!! Well, she is great on Facebook and excells at the art of sending super quick SMS messages on her mobile phone. She also takes great care of herself and can spend up to three hours getting ready to go out and that is just to the letterbox............but best of all, like most teenagers, she knows absolutely EVERYTHING and there is nothing that I or her father can tell her because she already knows. What an assett!
I myself have applied for a job, yes! it is true. After 25 years out of the workforce I applied for a position doing nightfill at Woolworths. I applied online and when it came to the part where I had to attach my resume I ignored it and moved on to the next question. My daughter (Who thinks she knows everything because she works in Human Resources) told me that nobody would look at an application if there was no resume attached. I told her that I informed Woolworths that I could work all hours of the night and surely needed no qualifications to put cans of baked beans on a shelf? Steve is scratching his head in confusion wondering how on earth his wife is going to stay awake in the day to homeschool the kids after working from 12-5 a.m in the morning! but even if I don't get the job (and I really don't think I want it!!) It was good to feel like I had actually made an attempt at applying for something after such a long break from the workplace.........
And to top off this super exciting post I must tell you all that my adoringly beautiful little boy, Joel, turned two yesterday! I can't believe it was two years ago that he entered our world. We wouldn't be without him for anything......he is our little sunshine.

I can't believe that the holidays are almost over. I don't feel like I have had much of a break. I certainly don't feel like I am ready to begin another year of homeschooling. Part of this is probably due to my concerns with Ben and his future. School for him was a nightmare last year and I really haven't got the foggiest idea as to where to start this year. On top of that I have an 'official' pre schooler and grade one student this year. That always means more labor intensive work on my behalf and I just don't know where I am going to find the energy on top of everything else.
From what I have read with Aspergers, they generally need a very structured style of learning. I guess that is where I have gone wrong with Ben! I was trying to apease him and use a very unstructured style. All that happened was he ended up resisting any form of learning and ended up back in the games room on his favourite thing in the whole world...........NINTENDO......'sigh'. I don't know, maybe my son will end up making the games he seems to enjoy so much!
I'm terrified about entering the world of 'proffesionals' who may try and determine the course of my son's life with their 'expert' views. Then again, I had the same thoughts when I was diagnosed with depression and entered a similar world myself! And the reality was that they didn't want to tell me how to live, they wanted me to work out things after chewing over all the possibilities! so maybe it won't be as bad as I am imagining.
Sometimes, to be very truthful with you all, I wonder if homeschooling is the very best route for me in life right now. It is my twelth year of homeschooling and it has become more of a habit than a passion. I look at my graduated children and am proud that I have achieved something positive but when I think of the years ahead and the workload that is upon me I shiver.........
I have so many personal goals and dreams. I would love to learn professional massage, maybe even reflexology. I'd love to volunteer a day a week working in one of the charity op shops that I so love! but not at the sake of my children and their needs. It is just that I have needs too and most of these have been buried for so long due to my convictions about motherhood.
I know without doubt that God put homeschooling on my heart in the first place and I have always said that when or if it was time to stop that he would gently lead me in a new direction and I would have peace. Well, I don't have any peace right now so I am assuming that nothing has changed!
I usually start the year off with enthusiasm so this is very hard for me. I just hope something kicks in during the next week.

It has been a long time since posting so thought I had better write a few words. A lot has been on my mind since Christmas. Mostly about my son, Ben, ten years old. It was as though a lot of things about his behaviour became polarized, there were things that stood out a lot more than they ever had before. For six years I have battled with thoughts about Autism. My sister in law who thinks she knows it all was the first to suggest (behind my back) that Ben was Autistic. At the time I had just had my seventh baby and was trying to deal with the seperation of my parents 40 year marriage. To say that I did not take the information well was putting it mildly. In my heart I kind of knew there was a truth to it but all I wanted to do was wrap my son in a cotton blanket and protect him from the harsh, cruel world.
Whenever I expressed my concerns about our son to my husband he would always reassure me that Ben was just a little different from other kids but nothing was wrong with him. I found comfort in my husbands calm assurance that everything was fine. I always hoped that as Ben got older he would 'grow out' of his 'different' behaviour. I consoled myself that because he was an intelligent child there was no way that he could be labelled Autistic. Just because he couldn't cut with a pair of scissors, had no interest in imaginative play or group fun didn't mean he was Autistic! After all, he would sit down and read the Dictionary from A-Z nearly every day!!
Well, for some reason this weekend everything seemed to come to a head. I decided to actually research  information on Autism and more specifically Aspergers Syndrome. It was like reading the story of my Son's life :-(    Finally, after six long years I openly expressed my concerns and gave it a name........AUTISM. Today I rang the doctor and made an appointment to see him regarding Ben. I hope above hope that I am wrong but something tells me not. I believe that God has given me the strength that I need at this time to deal with everything that comes my way. I certainly feel God's peace right now more than I have in a long time.
Please keep us in your prayers.........

I have had a couple of weeks to stew things over. Our schooling seemed to go downhill during term four. I 'think' that a huge part of that was because I brought a very very good, but "my time" consuming curriculum. I just couldn't keep up with the workload, I became despondent, Ben refused to do his work, the atmosphere in the home was horrible, I wanted to throw in the towel. Why do we always feel the need to fix things that are not broken? Things were going well with our little "Unschooling school at home" I think that seeing my two little ones do so well with the pre school component of the same curriculum made me think that I needed to do it with all my children. I loved the work, loved the books but I hated the schedule where my time (precious precious time) was taken up. In a few years when my little ones are older it will probably work beautifully but for now........well I think unschooling is the ONLY way I can go.
I am selling all the books on Aussie Homeschool right now. We need the money to fix the air conditioner and keeping books that I won't use 'just for the sake of it' seems ridiculous to me. So, if you want to grab a bargain and you need a curriculum for the new year go take a peek!