It has been a long time since posting so thought I had better write a few words. A lot has been on my mind since Christmas. Mostly about my son, Ben, ten years old. It was as though a lot of things about his behaviour became polarized, there were things that stood out a lot more than they ever had before. For six years I have battled with thoughts about Autism. My sister in law who thinks she knows it all was the first to suggest (behind my back) that Ben was Autistic. At the time I had just had my seventh baby and was trying to deal with the seperation of my parents 40 year marriage. To say that I did not take the information well was putting it mildly. In my heart I kind of knew there was a truth to it but all I wanted to do was wrap my son in a cotton blanket and protect him from the harsh, cruel world.
Whenever I expressed my concerns about our son to my husband he would always reassure me that Ben was just a little different from other kids but nothing was wrong with him. I found comfort in my husbands calm assurance that everything was fine. I always hoped that as Ben got older he would 'grow out' of his 'different' behaviour. I consoled myself that because he was an intelligent child there was no way that he could be labelled Autistic. Just because he couldn't cut with a pair of scissors, had no interest in imaginative play or group fun didn't mean he was Autistic! After all, he would sit down and read the Dictionary from A-Z nearly every day!!
Well, for some reason this weekend everything seemed to come to a head. I decided to actually research information on Autism and more specifically Aspergers Syndrome. It was like reading the story of my Son's life :-( Finally, after six long years I openly expressed my concerns and gave it a name........AUTISM. Today I rang the doctor and made an appointment to see him regarding Ben. I hope above hope that I am wrong but something tells me not. I believe that God has given me the strength that I need at this time to deal with everything that comes my way. I certainly feel God's peace right now more than I have in a long time.
Please keep us in your prayers.........
Whenever I expressed my concerns about our son to my husband he would always reassure me that Ben was just a little different from other kids but nothing was wrong with him. I found comfort in my husbands calm assurance that everything was fine. I always hoped that as Ben got older he would 'grow out' of his 'different' behaviour. I consoled myself that because he was an intelligent child there was no way that he could be labelled Autistic. Just because he couldn't cut with a pair of scissors, had no interest in imaginative play or group fun didn't mean he was Autistic! After all, he would sit down and read the Dictionary from A-Z nearly every day!!
Well, for some reason this weekend everything seemed to come to a head. I decided to actually research information on Autism and more specifically Aspergers Syndrome. It was like reading the story of my Son's life :-( Finally, after six long years I openly expressed my concerns and gave it a name........AUTISM. Today I rang the doctor and made an appointment to see him regarding Ben. I hope above hope that I am wrong but something tells me not. I believe that God has given me the strength that I need at this time to deal with everything that comes my way. I certainly feel God's peace right now more than I have in a long time.
Please keep us in your prayers.........
January 24, 2010 at 10:50 PM
I will pray for you and your special boy.
January 24, 2010 at 11:09 PM
Am praying for you and Ben and your whole family. Whatever the outcome of the appointment and if it become " official" Ben is still exactly who God wants him to be. He is fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of His creator.
Luv and hugs
Donna
January 24, 2010 at 11:25 PM
Oh my sweet friend,
(((((( Hugs to you))))))
Please keep me updated as to the happenings...so I can be (cyber) there for you and so I can pray.
January 25, 2010 at 2:33 AM
Jenna I've been there and it is so overwhelming to realise there is actually something wrong with your child, but like I replied on the aussie homeschool website getting a diagnosis is the first step towards getting some answers, support and help and so is actually a positve thing once you get past the shock!
It's never easy watching your child struggle to make sense of the world and to see others not understand them, but kids with ASD are so uniqie in their own ways and God has been teaching me to look for the precious moments and cherish them.
Feel free to ask me any questions or just vent if you like. I hope your Dr was helpful today and I will be praying for you on this journey!!
January 25, 2010 at 5:29 AM
I hope you'll have comfort knowing we're thinking of you all here.
I know it must be difficult, but your son is still the same boy you've had all these years. Whatever you learn about him on this journey together is to support him and enrich his needs further, and hopefully you'll all be blessed by the experience you have as a family as you grow through this.
Please be encouraged. :)
January 25, 2010 at 6:23 PM
Hi Jenna, I found from blog after posting at Aussie Home School. I'll be praying for you.
I also wanted to say that your husband is right, even if he does have an ASD. There is nothing wrong with him. Aspergers is just a differnt way of being. Tony Attwood (world leader in aspergers and an Aussie) strongly believes this. They are different not defective.
Tricia
January 26, 2010 at 4:50 PM
Oh thank you sweet ladies. I am so touched to come here and see how many of you have expressed your love and prayers for me at this time. I'm struggling to come to terms with it all right now. I see the doctor tomorrow so hopefully everything will start to follow a clear direction from there. I am overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, questions of 'why?' and lots of other negative feelings which I am sure are normal and part of the grieving process.