I haven't shared too much about this situation but over the past 16 months I have been working through a serious addiction to the internet and internet shopping. My addiction has left us in a sad and sorry state financially. I sometimes think I have lost my husband's trust in that area. Through good counseling I realized that the root of my problem was loneliness. Over a long period of time I had withdrawn myself from the outside community and become more and more of a loner. It wasn't until we experienced a traumatic event in our family that we realized how isolated our world had become.
I have been making steps towards change. It doesn't happen overnight! I have returned to church, not the church we have belonged to for 14 years but a much smaller local church. Steve has come with me once but he is battling his own demons in relation to church and God. It is good to have people in my life again. Of course I have my darling Mum and sister but as much as I love them they are not Christians and there are some things that I can't share with them. Last Friday night a group of the ladies from church went out for a coffee. I haven't laughed as much in a long time.......it felt good.
I have cut my internet time back drastically. I still seek the support and fellowship of other homeschoolers but even that, at times, is disapointing. There is nothing like real life friendships. Sometimes things that are said can be taken the wrong way. There is nothing better than a conversation with someone in real life! words are only part of the conversation, the eyes tell a thousand stories just on their own! the hand movements, the facial expressons. All these things are hard to convey online.
My long term goal is to reach a stage where my life is so full that the internet has little place in my day. Then I will know that I have received my healing.